LifeFlow: 4 Relationship Skills

LifeFlow: 4 Relationship Skills
Pastor Miles
June 15, 2014

1. Learn to ask.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7, 8 NIV)

You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. (James 4:2 NIV)

- this Kingdom principle also applies to relationships
- one of the reasons we don't ask is that we don't think we need help
- another reason is fear of rejection
- other reasons: we don't want to admit that we have a need
- instead we drop hints, make demands, threats, bribe, manipulate...
- out of mutual respect for one another, we should ask permission when making a request
- by not asking we may be depriving others of the opportunity to serve, grow, learn...

2. Learn to say no.
"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' " 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. "Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. "Which of the two did what his father wanted?" "The first," they answered. Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. (Matthew 21:28-31 NIV)

- we don't have to give a reason to say no. It's our choice.
- we say no to protect ourselves
- learn to say no to the good to be the protector of the best

3. Learn to hear no.
At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them. But he said, "I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent." (Luke 4:42, 43 NIV)

- you will show respect for the person and their choice
- ultimately the person is responsible for their choice, not you
- even God respects our "no" (see parable for the father of he prodigal son)
- ultimately, that will enable the person to say yes out of choice

4. Learn to say yes out of choice.
"What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' " 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. "Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. "Which of the two did what his father wanted?" "The first," they answered. Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. (Matthew 21:28-31 NIV)

- you see the need around you, and you make the choice to give to meet the need

God loves us and asks us to love and obey Him. But we said no. He heard us but waited patiently. Have we made the choice to accept God's love and grace through His son?